When fear drives choices that should be determined by passion
How our fascination with security and certainty can sometimes affect our happiness….
Life is a journey, not a destination they say. It’s not about where you end up in life, it’s about how you got there and the experiences that you went through along the way. However, life does include some important decisions and milestones that can have a huge impact on our happiness. While some of these decisions can be based on our goals, there can be some that are made either to please people or to follow the norms determined by a family or society.
Growing up, I was very lucky to have progressive family members who never influenced my choices but it’s unfortunate that not a lot of people get the same freedom like I did. It’s unfortunate that some people get married not because they want to spend their life with someone, but because society said it’s the ideal age. It’s unfortunate that some people work in jobs not because they are passionate about their role, but because they have bills to pay.
When I hear about such stories and experiences from people, I often think about their reasons and how they would’ve convinced themselves to make these choices. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against people getting married or working regular jobs, all I’m trying to say is that these decisions should be made by an individual rather than being dictated by a situation, family or society.
One of the things I’ve realized is that often decisions are made to address our need for security, stability, acceptance and validation. For example, when someone posts a picture on social media, they generally don’t appreciate the picture unless they get a certain number of likes & comments. Their decision about the beauty of that picture is directly proportional to the number of people who liked it. That, right there explains the constant need for validation and acceptance. On the other hand, there can be a certain someone who wants to get into an IVY league school not just because they love the coursework but because it would look good on their profile.
All of this makes me wonder how different our lives as a society would be if our decisions were purely based on our need to be happy. If our jobs, degrees and colleges represented our passion and if all our relationships were purely based on love.
It’s imperative for us to understand that there’s no such thing as an ideal situation, it can only be as nice as you want it to be. Also, what we should prioritize over everything else in life is our happiness. I once read a beautiful quote that said:
Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment
To sum it all up, learn to find the right reasons for the choices you make in your life. If it makes you happy, it’s the best thing to do even if it pisses off a few people and makes you the weird one :)
